Be Someone’s Cheerleader

When I think back over my life, I can name the people who changed its direction. Almost none of them did it with a grand gesture. They did it by believing in me on the days I couldn’t believe in myself, by asking how I was really doing, and by saying the right encouraging thing at exactly the moment I needed to hear it.

I’ve come to believe that’s one of the most powerful things any of us can do for another person: be their cheerleader.

Everyone is carrying something you can’t see.

The person across from you at the office, the neighbor you wave to, the stranger in line at the store. Any of them might be in the middle of a hard stretch, a health struggle, a private doubt, or a long season of just pushing through. You’ll rarely know. That’s exactly why encouragement matters so much. It doesn’t require you to know the whole story. It only requires you to be kind anyway.

Encouragement multiplies.

Here’s what I’ve noticed: when someone feels genuinely believed in, they almost can’t help but pass it on. The person you lift up tends to lift up someone else. That person does the same. A single kind word can travel much further than we’ll ever see, and it can reach people we’ll never meet. Cheerleaders don’t just cheer. They create more cheerleaders.

What it actually looks like

A young man of seventeen once came to us with dark, coarse hair across his entire body, growth that was abnormal for someone his age. Needless to say, he was horrified. At an age when most teenagers are consumed with fitting in, he couldn’t play sports because he was terrified of having to undress in a locker room. Wearing shorts, or taking his shirt off, was out of the question. He had quietly rearranged his life around hiding.

I felt terrible for him, to say the least.

His dad brought him in, and it was easy to see that his dad was just as horrified as he was. The first time in the office, the young man was embarrassed to take his shirt off and show me, someone who does this every day. He was quiet and shy, and he seemed a bit removed, as if he had already decided this was one more place where he’d be looked at and judged.

It was a reminder that when someone is struggling, the people who love them are often struggling right alongside them.

Moments like that are why I believe the treatment is only part of the job. The other part is making sure someone leaves feeling that their concern is real, that they are worth the effort, and that there is a path forward. For a teenager, that reassurance can be the difference between hiding and showing up.

So we met him with patience and respect, and we treated his concerns as the legitimate, important concerns they were. We celebrated the steps forward along the way, because progress in our work is gradual, and a young person needs to be able to see it before they can feel it.

With each treatment, I could see hope coming back into his eyes. Ever so slowly, he began coming out of his shell. He talked more. He smiled more. He became more outgoing.

No one gave a speech. We simply made sure that every time he came in, someone was glad to see him and someone noticed his effort. That’s all encouragement really is: being glad to see someone, and letting them know that their effort matters.

What I think about most is how far that kind of encouragement travels. A young person who is believed in at a vulnerable age tends to carry that belief into school, into friendships, and eventually into the way they treat the next person who is struggling. I like to believe that’s how one small kindness in one small office reaches farther than we’ll ever see.

What encouragement is not

Encouragement is not flattery, and it isn’t pretending everything is fine. The best cheerleaders are honest ones. They tell you the truth, and they tell it with kindness, because they believe you can handle it and grow from it. Empty praise fades quickly. Specific, sincere encouragement, such as “I noticed how hard you’ve worked on this,” stays with people for years.

That’s why encouragement and honesty belong together. You can’t truly lift someone up while telling them what they want to hear. You lift them up by believing in them enough to be real with them.

Wherever we have influence, this is our biggest opportunity.

Whether we’re leading a team, serving the public, raising a family, or simply working alongside others, we have a platform, even a small one, that most people never get. Every day we have the chance to encourage the people around us: the people we work with, the people we serve, and the people we love. A few ways to start:

• Encourage the people closest to us first. At work, the way we treat our team is the way they’ll treat our clients. At home, the way we speak to our families sets the tone for everything else. Notice effort, not just results. Thank people specifically. Tell them what they’re good at, out loud, because most people rarely hear it.
• Celebrate small wins. Progress doesn’t have to be dramatic to deserve recognition. A hard week handled well is worth saying something about.
• Honor the courage it takes to show up. Many clients, customers, friends, and family members arrive nervous, hesitant, or carrying more than they let on. A word of encouragement can change how an entire visit, or an entire day, feels.
• Build it into the culture. Encouragement shouldn’t depend on someone’s mood or the day’s schedule. It should simply be how we live, and how our businesses operate.

Here’s what I’ve come to understand about this: culture flows downhill. In a business, when a team member feels valued, it shows up at the front desk, on the phone, and in the treatment room. Clients feel it before they can explain it. And when a team member feels overlooked, clients feel that too. The same is true in families and friendships. The encouragement we give the people closest to us is, in a very real way, the encouragement they end up giving everyone else.

Why it matters

We’re surrounded by messages telling us what’s wrong, what’s missing, and what we should be doing better. A little deliberate encouragement is a quiet but powerful counterweight to all of that. It makes people feel seen, and people who feel seen show up differently, for their families, their work, and the people around them.

I’ll be honest: I don’t always get this right. After a very long day, when I’m exhausted and my patience is running thin, encouraging someone is the last thing on my mind. Those are the moments I have to stop and remind myself that the person in front of me may be carrying more than I know, and that a kind word costs me almost nothing. I don’t always get it right, but I’ve never regretted the times I did.

I’d love to see this spread. Here’s my challenge: this week, be someone’s cheerleader. It might be a team member, a client, a friend, or someone who looks like they could use it. Tell them you believe in them, and then ask them to do the same for someone else.

If each of us lifts up just one person, and they lift up one more, we really can change a small piece of the world.

Who has been a cheerleader for you? Take a moment today to thank them.